Considering I have NO one to write a letter to, I'm going to opt for the break up latter. I just went through my facebook and found this letter that I wrote almost 3 months ago to the Brit. It's really not a break up letter, but a more of a I hate your stinking guts because of what you've put me through and everything I've wanted to say but never had the guts to when I was sober. I also edited it a little.
November 10th 2008 2:50 am
Dear The Brit,
I cannot believe you just IGNORED me for 2 weeks. Seriously. I am HE LOVES ME NOT I don't put up with this. I am so over you making me wait and sit around for you to make an excuse for not speaking to me for so damn long. You've had time to get on facebook and what not. You are so out of excuses. At one point I thought I was falling into more than just "like" with you. I can't even say the other four letter l word because it hurts/pisses me off too much. As I said, I'm so over this now. You've proven to me that no matter where I go in the world no matter what happens, ALL GUYS ARE THE SAME. Thanks for making me make one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I can't even fully express in words how I feel. It's a mixture of hurt, saddness and extremely pissed off. But I know that I'll always remember though that time we had in Bath [England]. I'm probably going to to hang on to that for the rest of my life because I'll never regret it. Ever. I had such high hopes even when everyone was telling me don't. Or when they were too scared to hit me up side the head with a 2x4. Right now at this moment. I wish they did so I wouldn't be in this mess right now. Writing this at 3am spilling my heart out. It took a lot to take your picture off my wall and turn my claddagh ring around and admit that I was wrong. I hate regretting things, but now the only thing I regret is thinking that this could go beyond what he had those few special nights in England. I don't like to believe that I make the wrong decisons. This time, maybe I didn't. Maybe I made the right decision to learn the right lesson. And maybe that's all I have left to thank you for. Thank you for making me realize, that no matter how amazing a guy seems, if he has a girlfriend and cheats on her, he is NOT as good as he appears to be. I promise never ever to fall for a guy like you ever again. So, when the voicemails you've left me telling me how much you miss me finally expires and your messages delete from facebook, you'll just be a fading memory like everything else from Bath. One day I'll just be able to delete you from facebook all together, because it's the only way I have to contact you. I know it will take time and you won't just go away, I can't bring myself to hit the "delete friend" button. But one day you will become something I won't hang on to any longer. Just know that I'm so embarrassed because everyone thought I was a fool for falling in love with you but didn't have the heart to say it out loud to make any difference. Now, you won't even respond to me. So I'm going to try to not stare at your face a million times a day and when the time comes for when I was supposed to visit you, I will try to be strong and ignore the pull at my heart.
Love,
He loves me not.
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