So this year is almost over and I still haven't finished writing about this year's adventures. But I figured I'd sum it up like I did last years.
2011
Started it off with a bang. Or a black out, which ever you prefer. Met WI guy had an amazing time realized me life is fucked up. Moved to CT, got a job (made some awesome friends) and a boyfriend. Hated said job and long distance with said boyfriend, made plans to move to Boston. Moved to Boston, said boyfriend dumps me. Join online dating site, go boy crazy in Boston. Join a dance studio, go crazy in Boston on dance. Become a trainer, find my calling in life.
I may still be single but for the first time in a long time I'm perfectly content with that. Dating is fun for now, and if I meet the right person, that would be fantastic. But I now know there's so much more to life. The people I have met through dance are probably the best, most inspirational people I have ever met. Meeting them has helped me put all my past nastiness behind me and learn how to embrace my life as it is. I don't need a boyfriend (though it would be nice) I just need people that actually care. In the past most of my friends have been replaceable. You can always find a new partner in crime, a new clique to join, a new study buddy, work out friend. But you can't replace people that have sincerely helped bring out the best in you and never seek to bring you down.
12/30/2011
12/29/2011
Nerds, Italians and Greeks
Name: MIT Guy
Our story: Let me start with this- I love nerds and geeky guys. Think Sheldon from Big Bang Theory and Dr. Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds. There is a soft spot in my heart for them and I have no idea why. So I joined POF (BIG mistake ladies- STAY AWAY). I got a message from MIT guy and we proceeded to text and message all the time. Finally, decided to meet and have dinner. We really hit it off until I found out he had a GF. Great. Here we go again. Except this time I stuck to my NYE resolution and and DID NOT hook with him. We decided to be friends since he just moved here too. But of course our conversations start to cross the friend line. He decided he had to chose between me and his GF. I personally couldn't understand why. But finally he broke up with his GF and we hooked. Then a week later the poor boy got confused and thought maybe he had made the wrong decision (she emailed him and told him she wanted the cat back...boys are weird). I was upset and tried to understand why he would go back to a weird relationship (see: he hates her friends, she makes him sing little bunny foo foo to help her sleep and when he went home for labor day, she left for the weekend to go to the beach). I should have just left it there. But then he came back and was like no, I want to try this with you. So we did, made plans for my birthday to go out and have fun etc. But I got this nasty feeling (and with the help of FB stalking) that he wanted his ex back. So finally after he canceled plans on me for the second time, I just was like you know what I'm done. After doing some FB stalking recently (I love FB if you haven't noticed, especially with the new live feed and timeline...makes stalking SO much fun!) I discovered they are back together. I hope he has fun for the rest of his life having a grown child instead of a gf. Jerk.
Name: Italian Stallion
The Story: This guy, oh man, he takes the cake. Such a winner (I sincerely hope you picked up on my sarcasm there). So I meet this guy online and he comes out while I'm having drinks with a girl I went to college with. I'm nervous and start pounding drinks (see: Black out city). Make a complete fool of myself and bring him home. We hook (no banging as I am BO). SOME how this guy likes the craziness and we see each other a lot for about 2 weeks. He's nuts and I fall for every single word. Sometimes I hate being a girl because I really do fall for all the cheesy shit guys will spit out because they know we want to hear it (after this experience though I DON'T believe it anymore). Then my mom comes to visit and we can't see each other that weekend. Fine, you know we gotta do our own thing too. So I'm at a bar/restaurant with my mom and we're having drinks and dessert while we catch up. The bar is filling up and there's a guy behind her trying to order drinks. Well, I instinctively turn to look at him and discover is none other than my Italian Stallion! We have an awkward confrontation (fine), and he tells me he's out with coworkers and his gonna go back and hang with them (ok). Then I watch him leave...not with coworkers though but with another chic. So when I confront him about it he blocks me on FB and never answers me again. I'm kinda convinced that she is his GF because after stalking his pics his "ex gf" looked a lot like this chic he was leaving with. Liar liar pants on fire!!!
Name: Greek Lawyer
Our story: After my bad encounter with Italian Stallion I decided to make one last attempt on POF and I meet this very nice, put together Greek Lawyer. He's cute and nice, smart, has a good job, polite. You know the type that you would bring home to meet the parents. SEE: BORINGGGGG. That is just not my type. But I couldn't help but at least give it a chance...you know something different than the typical asshole I date? We go out on two more dates and the third one he tries to make out with me in the middle of a bar. I just COULD NOT do it. I will make out, but it can't be in the middle of the bar with everyone staring and on like a Wednesday night when no one is drunk. And to top it off it was like kissing a dead fish. My stomach just turned while recalling this incident. I'm sorry, I love making out. I cannot be with a guy that can't kiss. It's just too horrible. We part that night and he tries to set up another date. Instead of my typical ignore until the get the hint move, I'm nice since he's so nice and tell him I'm just not ready to see anyone yet. He tells me to give him a call when I am ready. I never will be ready to date a dead fish!!!
Our story: Let me start with this- I love nerds and geeky guys. Think Sheldon from Big Bang Theory and Dr. Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds. There is a soft spot in my heart for them and I have no idea why. So I joined POF (BIG mistake ladies- STAY AWAY). I got a message from MIT guy and we proceeded to text and message all the time. Finally, decided to meet and have dinner. We really hit it off until I found out he had a GF. Great. Here we go again. Except this time I stuck to my NYE resolution and and DID NOT hook with him. We decided to be friends since he just moved here too. But of course our conversations start to cross the friend line. He decided he had to chose between me and his GF. I personally couldn't understand why. But finally he broke up with his GF and we hooked. Then a week later the poor boy got confused and thought maybe he had made the wrong decision (she emailed him and told him she wanted the cat back...boys are weird). I was upset and tried to understand why he would go back to a weird relationship (see: he hates her friends, she makes him sing little bunny foo foo to help her sleep and when he went home for labor day, she left for the weekend to go to the beach). I should have just left it there. But then he came back and was like no, I want to try this with you. So we did, made plans for my birthday to go out and have fun etc. But I got this nasty feeling (and with the help of FB stalking) that he wanted his ex back. So finally after he canceled plans on me for the second time, I just was like you know what I'm done. After doing some FB stalking recently (I love FB if you haven't noticed, especially with the new live feed and timeline...makes stalking SO much fun!) I discovered they are back together. I hope he has fun for the rest of his life having a grown child instead of a gf. Jerk.
Name: Italian Stallion
The Story: This guy, oh man, he takes the cake. Such a winner (I sincerely hope you picked up on my sarcasm there). So I meet this guy online and he comes out while I'm having drinks with a girl I went to college with. I'm nervous and start pounding drinks (see: Black out city). Make a complete fool of myself and bring him home. We hook (no banging as I am BO). SOME how this guy likes the craziness and we see each other a lot for about 2 weeks. He's nuts and I fall for every single word. Sometimes I hate being a girl because I really do fall for all the cheesy shit guys will spit out because they know we want to hear it (after this experience though I DON'T believe it anymore). Then my mom comes to visit and we can't see each other that weekend. Fine, you know we gotta do our own thing too. So I'm at a bar/restaurant with my mom and we're having drinks and dessert while we catch up. The bar is filling up and there's a guy behind her trying to order drinks. Well, I instinctively turn to look at him and discover is none other than my Italian Stallion! We have an awkward confrontation (fine), and he tells me he's out with coworkers and his gonna go back and hang with them (ok). Then I watch him leave...not with coworkers though but with another chic. So when I confront him about it he blocks me on FB and never answers me again. I'm kinda convinced that she is his GF because after stalking his pics his "ex gf" looked a lot like this chic he was leaving with. Liar liar pants on fire!!!
Name: Greek Lawyer
Our story: After my bad encounter with Italian Stallion I decided to make one last attempt on POF and I meet this very nice, put together Greek Lawyer. He's cute and nice, smart, has a good job, polite. You know the type that you would bring home to meet the parents. SEE: BORINGGGGG. That is just not my type. But I couldn't help but at least give it a chance...you know something different than the typical asshole I date? We go out on two more dates and the third one he tries to make out with me in the middle of a bar. I just COULD NOT do it. I will make out, but it can't be in the middle of the bar with everyone staring and on like a Wednesday night when no one is drunk. And to top it off it was like kissing a dead fish. My stomach just turned while recalling this incident. I'm sorry, I love making out. I cannot be with a guy that can't kiss. It's just too horrible. We part that night and he tries to set up another date. Instead of my typical ignore until the get the hint move, I'm nice since he's so nice and tell him I'm just not ready to see anyone yet. He tells me to give him a call when I am ready. I never will be ready to date a dead fish!!!
12/23/2011
I think I'll go to Boston....
So this next one. I'm kinda of at a loss on how to start it because our story doesn't begin right after Portuguese guy. It actually starts 5 years prior, when I was nothing but a child working at Really Big Insurance Company during the summers of college. This is when I first learned the power I had over the male species, particularly the older men. I was thrilled by what simply smiling could do to them. This is when I first met Boston guy. We would flirt with each while I made hundreds pointless copies at the copy machine that was nicely placed in front of his cube. As the summer went on I didn't bother dressing as professionally and my skirts got shorter (which he would later tell me he still thinks about to this day). I thought he was already married (see: picture of girlfriend and son on desk), so I knew it would go no where but we both could definitely feel that sexual tension when I gave him a hug on my last day there.
Fast forward 3 years, we start chatting on facebook after all this time. He has been married (and divorced). Conversations start as friendly banter and then turn more sexual. Note: This is when things started to get rocky with Class 5. Obviously nothing ever really happened because I was in OH and he was in RI. Eventually we just stopped talking.
Jump to March of this year, we start talking again because I've just moved back to CT and working full time for Really Big Insurance Company (guess those summers of goofing off and flirting really paid off!). He's transfered to the office in Boston so he's no longer there but we catch up and agree to maybe meet up sometime. I ditch him for Portuguese. Then here's where my back up motto comes in. After Portuguese guy disappears I right away text who we now would call Boston Guy and tell him we should meet up. He agrees. I think it's going to be a casual thing. No IT'S A DATE. He takes me to see the Ballet and gets us a hotel room for the night. Of course I had the obligation to bang, but really, I wanted to anyways I mean after all I did wait 5 years to do that! After that we spend every other weekend together and become official. It's awesome because after 5 years of lusting after each other we're FINALLY together. Things are great even though it's long distance, we gchat, skype, text whatever.
But like anything the honeymoon must end. During the summer I get fed up with my job at Really Big Insurance Company and decide that I don't want to live in CT anymore. So one day I find an apartment and announce that in a month I'm moving to Boston. Of course, it's just convenient that he just moved to a suburb of Boston and we can FINALLY have a normal non-long distance relationship. I'm looking forward to not having to get hotel rooms and drive for hours just to see him for a few. I know he's wary about the move...afraid that I'm moving for him. But seriously I was NOT. So finally my move rolls around and he's AWESOMEEEE and does all this heavy lifting for me ie. moves all my furniture. All my friends are gushing about how great a guy he is etc.
Great my ass. Four days after the big move I'm single. So I'm already stressed out about the job situation and the move. So basically he kicks me when I'm down. I know he had a lot of stuff going on too but really? He didn't even really have a real reason for the break up and I'm devastated and a hot mess at work that day (I also drove 1.5 hours to see him...to get dumped then had to drive 1.5 hours the next day back to CT for work). This is when motto comes in again...I immediately text WI guy and we plan another trip right then and there.
But the story doesn't end here dear friend. There are few indiscretions of drunk texting after the break up. Including one a little over a month ago which led to a date. I realize I was not full over him at this point but I agreed anyways. We went to see a dance performance and then out to dinner. It was like our first date all over again and I missed him. He had his hand on my knee the whole time. He flirted (he tried to come home with me but I drew the line there). And then the next day I told him I wish he would give us another chance and I never heard from him again. Asshole. He did text me on Thanksgiving and I ignored him. I'm completely cutting him out of my life and have no spoken to him since. Instead I have found other boys to occupy my time. :)
Fast forward 3 years, we start chatting on facebook after all this time. He has been married (and divorced). Conversations start as friendly banter and then turn more sexual. Note: This is when things started to get rocky with Class 5. Obviously nothing ever really happened because I was in OH and he was in RI. Eventually we just stopped talking.
Jump to March of this year, we start talking again because I've just moved back to CT and working full time for Really Big Insurance Company (guess those summers of goofing off and flirting really paid off!). He's transfered to the office in Boston so he's no longer there but we catch up and agree to maybe meet up sometime. I ditch him for Portuguese. Then here's where my back up motto comes in. After Portuguese guy disappears I right away text who we now would call Boston Guy and tell him we should meet up. He agrees. I think it's going to be a casual thing. No IT'S A DATE. He takes me to see the Ballet and gets us a hotel room for the night. Of course I had the obligation to bang, but really, I wanted to anyways I mean after all I did wait 5 years to do that! After that we spend every other weekend together and become official. It's awesome because after 5 years of lusting after each other we're FINALLY together. Things are great even though it's long distance, we gchat, skype, text whatever.
But like anything the honeymoon must end. During the summer I get fed up with my job at Really Big Insurance Company and decide that I don't want to live in CT anymore. So one day I find an apartment and announce that in a month I'm moving to Boston. Of course, it's just convenient that he just moved to a suburb of Boston and we can FINALLY have a normal non-long distance relationship. I'm looking forward to not having to get hotel rooms and drive for hours just to see him for a few. I know he's wary about the move...afraid that I'm moving for him. But seriously I was NOT. So finally my move rolls around and he's AWESOMEEEE and does all this heavy lifting for me ie. moves all my furniture. All my friends are gushing about how great a guy he is etc.
Great my ass. Four days after the big move I'm single. So I'm already stressed out about the job situation and the move. So basically he kicks me when I'm down. I know he had a lot of stuff going on too but really? He didn't even really have a real reason for the break up and I'm devastated and a hot mess at work that day (I also drove 1.5 hours to see him...to get dumped then had to drive 1.5 hours the next day back to CT for work). This is when motto comes in again...I immediately text WI guy and we plan another trip right then and there.
But the story doesn't end here dear friend. There are few indiscretions of drunk texting after the break up. Including one a little over a month ago which led to a date. I realize I was not full over him at this point but I agreed anyways. We went to see a dance performance and then out to dinner. It was like our first date all over again and I missed him. He had his hand on my knee the whole time. He flirted (he tried to come home with me but I drew the line there). And then the next day I told him I wish he would give us another chance and I never heard from him again. Asshole. He did text me on Thanksgiving and I ignored him. I'm completely cutting him out of my life and have no spoken to him since. Instead I have found other boys to occupy my time. :)
12/22/2011
The Forbidden Question
Name: The Portuguese
Our story: Another eHarmony adventure, that I originally thought had a lot of potential. We went out on the typical dinner first date and hit it off. I didn't hear from him for awhile so I began to think that maybeeee it wasn't as good as I thought it was. A couple days later I finally get a call from him (woo hoo he CALLED and not text what a winner!) and find out that he had emergency surgery on his appendix. I remember we talked for hours that night about everything. I think that's when I immediately fell for him. I know I know, it's one of my weaknesses...giving away my heart too early. We made plans to get together once he was feeling up to it.
Date number two was an all day trip to Northampton, MA. We spent the day there going into crazy little shops, eating yummy food and just goofing around. He even bought me a pack of pink mustaches and a book of really bad poetry. We were that obnoxious happy couple holding hands and skipping down streets (even though it was only a second date and we were definitely not a couple).
Side note: It kinda sucks writing about this because I really thought we would end up a happy couple. But there's no happily ever after for HeLovesMeNot.
We started hooking up, hanging out everyday, sleeping over each others places. I met his friends, he met mine. All big signs that this was GOING SOMEWHERE. Everything was great until I had to go back to Ohio for a long weekend to wrap somethings up. At this point we had being seeing each other for a little over a month. So I asked the BIG question, "Where is this going?" He said he liked what we had, didn't want it to change but wasn't ready to be in a relationship yet (he had broken up with his gf of 5 years 3 months prior to us meeting). I was fine with that answer and went off to Ohio feeling good about it. But things changed when I got back. I didn't hear from him for a bit, then he asked me out but I couldn't go because of dance. Then I just never heard from him again. All of a sudden he just fell off the face of the earth. God it sucked. It was the closest I had been to a relationship since Class 5 and it was like being stomped on all over again.
We're still FB friends and earlier in the summer he did find someone that he was ready to be in a relationship. Glad to know he's happy but it still kind of stings. But I always have my motto: Always have a back up.
Our story: Another eHarmony adventure, that I originally thought had a lot of potential. We went out on the typical dinner first date and hit it off. I didn't hear from him for awhile so I began to think that maybeeee it wasn't as good as I thought it was. A couple days later I finally get a call from him (woo hoo he CALLED and not text what a winner!) and find out that he had emergency surgery on his appendix. I remember we talked for hours that night about everything. I think that's when I immediately fell for him. I know I know, it's one of my weaknesses...giving away my heart too early. We made plans to get together once he was feeling up to it.
Date number two was an all day trip to Northampton, MA. We spent the day there going into crazy little shops, eating yummy food and just goofing around. He even bought me a pack of pink mustaches and a book of really bad poetry. We were that obnoxious happy couple holding hands and skipping down streets (even though it was only a second date and we were definitely not a couple).
Side note: It kinda sucks writing about this because I really thought we would end up a happy couple. But there's no happily ever after for HeLovesMeNot.
We started hooking up, hanging out everyday, sleeping over each others places. I met his friends, he met mine. All big signs that this was GOING SOMEWHERE. Everything was great until I had to go back to Ohio for a long weekend to wrap somethings up. At this point we had being seeing each other for a little over a month. So I asked the BIG question, "Where is this going?" He said he liked what we had, didn't want it to change but wasn't ready to be in a relationship yet (he had broken up with his gf of 5 years 3 months prior to us meeting). I was fine with that answer and went off to Ohio feeling good about it. But things changed when I got back. I didn't hear from him for a bit, then he asked me out but I couldn't go because of dance. Then I just never heard from him again. All of a sudden he just fell off the face of the earth. God it sucked. It was the closest I had been to a relationship since Class 5 and it was like being stomped on all over again.
We're still FB friends and earlier in the summer he did find someone that he was ready to be in a relationship. Glad to know he's happy but it still kind of stings. But I always have my motto: Always have a back up.
12/20/2011
HeLovesMeNot takes over New England
So in February of this year I randomly decided to pack it up and move back home to CT. I had made a few bad decisions. And it really was for the best. When I moved back home I realized I wouldn't be starting my job for a month, I only had like 2 friends from high school and no money. So I once again jumped on the online dating train. This time it was eharmony and my dating life took off.
Name:Narcissistic Cop
The Date: I jumped into dating full force once I hit CT pavement. I met up with the Narcissistic Cop, who thought Chili's was a fancy first date. Okay, don't get me wrong I love Chili's but really? Are we 15? I'm pretty sure that's where my high school bf brought me out on dates. All throughout dinner the guy would not stop talking about himself! I could probably tell you his life story right now if I had cared to remember. Guy has some super ego problems because he just kept trying to talk himself up. Great. Then we had plans to go see a movie. Honestly, I can't even remember the movie because the douche bag wouldn't stop talking throughout the whole thing. Everyone around us kept glaring at him. I was terribly embarrassed. Then after the movie there was the awkward good bye, I gave him a hug and next thing I know he's diving straight into my mouth, tongue and everything. I shudder right now just thinking about it. Ew. I might have just thrown up in my mouth a little bit.
Name: Big Yawn
The Date(s): Our first date we went to an outdoor hockey game, froze my ass off for this guy, but had fun. This is where my best first date line happened, "I don't like to wear pants." Yes. I said it. But it was really in reference to how I like to wear dresses a lot and not jeans. Second date, we went out to dinner, you know typical nothing special. Third, dinner and a comedy club and the last one was out to lunch. Nothing special, nothing exciting. Just typical boring dates. .YAWN. I decided that I couldn't see myself dating him. He was just too boring for me and I like to pride myself in being anything but boring. So it just kind of ended.
Name: Blast from the Past
The Date (s): Scrolling through my matches on Eharmony I was shocked to find a guy that I went to high school with. He was one of the most sought after guys to date. So I figured why not, I can give myself a pat on the back. Turns out he knew he was hot and wanted me to know it. He was ALL about image. His BMW and his clothes. He probably owns more shoes than I do. Yeah, we had a lot to talk about over dinner but I just was NOT feeling it. I had already just come out of one relationship (Class 5) where the guy would criticize everything I did and wore. I did NOT want to end up like that again. If you haven't noticed I'm really bad at ending things with guys so I kind of just stopped answering his texts. He sent me a mean fb message. Oh welllll.
Name:Narcissistic Cop
The Date: I jumped into dating full force once I hit CT pavement. I met up with the Narcissistic Cop, who thought Chili's was a fancy first date. Okay, don't get me wrong I love Chili's but really? Are we 15? I'm pretty sure that's where my high school bf brought me out on dates. All throughout dinner the guy would not stop talking about himself! I could probably tell you his life story right now if I had cared to remember. Guy has some super ego problems because he just kept trying to talk himself up. Great. Then we had plans to go see a movie. Honestly, I can't even remember the movie because the douche bag wouldn't stop talking throughout the whole thing. Everyone around us kept glaring at him. I was terribly embarrassed. Then after the movie there was the awkward good bye, I gave him a hug and next thing I know he's diving straight into my mouth, tongue and everything. I shudder right now just thinking about it. Ew. I might have just thrown up in my mouth a little bit.
Name: Big Yawn
The Date(s): Our first date we went to an outdoor hockey game, froze my ass off for this guy, but had fun. This is where my best first date line happened, "I don't like to wear pants." Yes. I said it. But it was really in reference to how I like to wear dresses a lot and not jeans. Second date, we went out to dinner, you know typical nothing special. Third, dinner and a comedy club and the last one was out to lunch. Nothing special, nothing exciting. Just typical boring dates. .YAWN. I decided that I couldn't see myself dating him. He was just too boring for me and I like to pride myself in being anything but boring. So it just kind of ended.
Name: Blast from the Past
The Date (s): Scrolling through my matches on Eharmony I was shocked to find a guy that I went to high school with. He was one of the most sought after guys to date. So I figured why not, I can give myself a pat on the back. Turns out he knew he was hot and wanted me to know it. He was ALL about image. His BMW and his clothes. He probably owns more shoes than I do. Yeah, we had a lot to talk about over dinner but I just was NOT feeling it. I had already just come out of one relationship (Class 5) where the guy would criticize everything I did and wore. I did NOT want to end up like that again. If you haven't noticed I'm really bad at ending things with guys so I kind of just stopped answering his texts. He sent me a mean fb message. Oh welllll.
12/18/2011
the end of the midwest...
I fear I might be forget someone while I try to recollect my past year of hook ups and frustrations. No worries I'm making a list and checking it twice, figuring out all those naughty details ;) But some of these stories may be out of order because of my shotty memory (maybe I should cut back on the wine...). Here are the last two from my tales of the midwest before I travelled back to the east coast...
Name: Married Dog Park
Our story: As I mentioned before Class 5 and I had decided that we were adults and should own a dog (stupid stupid stupid). I regularly liked to bring this beloved pup to the dog park, and of course you meet lots of people there because your dogs will either be tormenting each other or humping each other. Mine was the one always being humped. Anyway, that's besides the point. One cool fall day I met Married Dog Park. Again, didn't know he was married. He wasn't wearing a ring and mentioned nothing of the sort. We exchanged numbers and began texting. Texting turned into meeting at bars to hooking up (obviously). After our 3rd or 4th hook, he lays it on me. He's married. At this point I'm like OKAY not going through this again. So I stop the hooking and the texting and the meeting up. He's a smart one so he picked up on that and we stopped being in contact.
What happened later....:I moved back to the east coast and lived with my parents for a bit. One random day while driving back from RI, I get a text from guess who??? I answer. We catch up a bit. I tell him I'm happy and in a relationship (that story is coming soon). He says keep in touch. I figure I won't hear from him again. WRONG. Deadly wrong. He becomes threatening. Saying he'll come to CT, send the dirty pics I've sent him to my parents etc. if I don't start talking to him again. After awhile I just block his number and email. But Verizon only lets you block up to 90 days. I guess a couple days ago that 90 days was up because I received a text from him saying hi, then another saying "I've been thinking about you lately HeLovesMeNot." Ignore. Creepy fool.
EDIT: I did forget 4 before I moved...
Name:Virgin Army Dude
Our story: Decided to try to online dating thing right before I decided to move. I met Virgin Army dude. He's okay, kinda odd, but then again so am I so who am I to judge? We hook and of course right after he breaks the news to me...He was a Virgin and I just swiped that card. Ew. I hate being that girl because then they can become so clingy and guess what? He does become clingy, I try to explain to him I don't have the time that he wants me to put into to whatever he wants (aka relationship). I get sick and tired of his harassing so I just stop answering. About 2 weeks later I get a 5 page email stating that he doesn't appreciate my silence and that if I want we can just be fuck buddies because I seemed like I was having a good time. At this point I am so pissed and have decided to move I just tell him like it is. I faked it. The end :)
Name:Drummer Boy
Our story: My friend and I go to a GirlTalk concert and in my drunk haze I decide that the bartender is cute and leave him my number on the receipt. I never do this mind you. He texts me the next day. We meet up for drinks and hook up. I tell him I'm moving and he's sad. Once in awhile he will fb chat me. Poor sad broke musician.
Name:WI guy
Our story:Another online dating adventure. This time he lives in a totally different state! We talk all the time and randomly he decides to fly me out there one weekend, which just so happens to be a weekend where he's running a clinical for his waterskiing team. He says he'll get us a nice room, drinks and we can hang out and have fun all weekend. Great! So I hop on a plane and proceed to have 3 drinks, arrive at 9am, already drunk. Some how he doesn't realize that my breath smells like vodka, I'm chatty and stumbling around the airport. He thinks I'm just funny. We hop in the car and head out to the hotel we're staying at with his team and proceed to keep drinking. I pretty much drink for 12 hours straight. I confess this fact and instead of being appalled at my behavior he announces that I fit right in to their group! Yay! It ends up being a really fun weekend. Minus the part where I blacked out during the pizza dinner that was at an arcade and make a fool of myself by getting lost in lazer tag and riding a mechanical horse for 5 year olds. Oh and I also pressed the emergency button on the elevator. Did you know that's a $1000 fine? If you're caught. Good thing I'm sneaky sneaky. And the most important part...he's a REALLY good bang. Like top of the list.
Where we are now:I actually went out to visit him in September for another weekend. It was okay, not as good as the first. He ended up being sick. We didn't bang as much as we had talked about (or at least as much as I planned...maybe 3 times in a weekend is a lot for him?). Once in awhile we will drunk text but I doubt I'll be flying out there again anytime soon :( Which is a shame because if he wasn't so far away I would date him.
Name:The Married Brit
Our story: Oh dear, as you can tell by his name this was not a good idea and it's also what led to this years NYE resolution, "I will not hook up with guys that aren't single." I'm our with my PIC (partner in crime) one night, and as per usual on a way to a black out. We are chatting it up with these ghetto dude and I am not feeling them. My eyes are wandering all around the bar when they happen to land on a group of gentlemen in TIES. Yes, ties. I LOVE ties. They make any guy sexy. So I just randomly walk away from the ghetto dudes and start chatting it up with the fine classy gentlemen when I hear my weakness....a British accent. One thing leads to another, my PIC comes over finds her own sexy tie man and we all head out to another bar. Some time in the night I think he told me he was married but in my BO phase I did not care and decided he should come home with me. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???
What happened after? He gave me his number. We texted. But really? He was married. I ran into him once at a bar and we chatted. He wanted to come home with me but seeing as it was after the new year I politely rejected him and haven't heard from him since I left the Midwest.
Okay, now it's really the end of the midwest.
Name: Married Dog Park
Our story: As I mentioned before Class 5 and I had decided that we were adults and should own a dog (stupid stupid stupid). I regularly liked to bring this beloved pup to the dog park, and of course you meet lots of people there because your dogs will either be tormenting each other or humping each other. Mine was the one always being humped. Anyway, that's besides the point. One cool fall day I met Married Dog Park. Again, didn't know he was married. He wasn't wearing a ring and mentioned nothing of the sort. We exchanged numbers and began texting. Texting turned into meeting at bars to hooking up (obviously). After our 3rd or 4th hook, he lays it on me. He's married. At this point I'm like OKAY not going through this again. So I stop the hooking and the texting and the meeting up. He's a smart one so he picked up on that and we stopped being in contact.
What happened later....:I moved back to the east coast and lived with my parents for a bit. One random day while driving back from RI, I get a text from guess who??? I answer. We catch up a bit. I tell him I'm happy and in a relationship (that story is coming soon). He says keep in touch. I figure I won't hear from him again. WRONG. Deadly wrong. He becomes threatening. Saying he'll come to CT, send the dirty pics I've sent him to my parents etc. if I don't start talking to him again. After awhile I just block his number and email. But Verizon only lets you block up to 90 days. I guess a couple days ago that 90 days was up because I received a text from him saying hi, then another saying "I've been thinking about you lately HeLovesMeNot." Ignore. Creepy fool.
EDIT: I did forget 4 before I moved...
Name:Virgin Army Dude
Our story: Decided to try to online dating thing right before I decided to move. I met Virgin Army dude. He's okay, kinda odd, but then again so am I so who am I to judge? We hook and of course right after he breaks the news to me...He was a Virgin and I just swiped that card. Ew. I hate being that girl because then they can become so clingy and guess what? He does become clingy, I try to explain to him I don't have the time that he wants me to put into to whatever he wants (aka relationship). I get sick and tired of his harassing so I just stop answering. About 2 weeks later I get a 5 page email stating that he doesn't appreciate my silence and that if I want we can just be fuck buddies because I seemed like I was having a good time. At this point I am so pissed and have decided to move I just tell him like it is. I faked it. The end :)
Name:Drummer Boy
Our story: My friend and I go to a GirlTalk concert and in my drunk haze I decide that the bartender is cute and leave him my number on the receipt. I never do this mind you. He texts me the next day. We meet up for drinks and hook up. I tell him I'm moving and he's sad. Once in awhile he will fb chat me. Poor sad broke musician.
Name:WI guy
Our story:Another online dating adventure. This time he lives in a totally different state! We talk all the time and randomly he decides to fly me out there one weekend, which just so happens to be a weekend where he's running a clinical for his waterskiing team. He says he'll get us a nice room, drinks and we can hang out and have fun all weekend. Great! So I hop on a plane and proceed to have 3 drinks, arrive at 9am, already drunk. Some how he doesn't realize that my breath smells like vodka, I'm chatty and stumbling around the airport. He thinks I'm just funny. We hop in the car and head out to the hotel we're staying at with his team and proceed to keep drinking. I pretty much drink for 12 hours straight. I confess this fact and instead of being appalled at my behavior he announces that I fit right in to their group! Yay! It ends up being a really fun weekend. Minus the part where I blacked out during the pizza dinner that was at an arcade and make a fool of myself by getting lost in lazer tag and riding a mechanical horse for 5 year olds. Oh and I also pressed the emergency button on the elevator. Did you know that's a $1000 fine? If you're caught. Good thing I'm sneaky sneaky. And the most important part...he's a REALLY good bang. Like top of the list.
Where we are now:I actually went out to visit him in September for another weekend. It was okay, not as good as the first. He ended up being sick. We didn't bang as much as we had talked about (or at least as much as I planned...maybe 3 times in a weekend is a lot for him?). Once in awhile we will drunk text but I doubt I'll be flying out there again anytime soon :( Which is a shame because if he wasn't so far away I would date him.
Name:The Married Brit
Our story: Oh dear, as you can tell by his name this was not a good idea and it's also what led to this years NYE resolution, "I will not hook up with guys that aren't single." I'm our with my PIC (partner in crime) one night, and as per usual on a way to a black out. We are chatting it up with these ghetto dude and I am not feeling them. My eyes are wandering all around the bar when they happen to land on a group of gentlemen in TIES. Yes, ties. I LOVE ties. They make any guy sexy. So I just randomly walk away from the ghetto dudes and start chatting it up with the fine classy gentlemen when I hear my weakness....a British accent. One thing leads to another, my PIC comes over finds her own sexy tie man and we all head out to another bar. Some time in the night I think he told me he was married but in my BO phase I did not care and decided he should come home with me. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???
What happened after? He gave me his number. We texted. But really? He was married. I ran into him once at a bar and we chatted. He wanted to come home with me but seeing as it was after the new year I politely rejected him and haven't heard from him since I left the Midwest.
Okay, now it's really the end of the midwest.
And the list goes on and on and on
So it's been a little over a year since parting ways from Class 5 Clinger. And there have been many in between now and then...
Name: The Obsessive Trainer
Our Story: I started working out at my gym almost obsessively over the summer, I got to know basically everyone that worked there really well to the point where it kind of got annoying because I would spend far too much time talking to people and not enough time actually working out. This one particular trainer took a liking to me and would train me for free. He was nice but awkward. I honestly don't know how it happened but next thing I know I'm sleeping with this guy. Rebound? Yeah, probably. Okay, he have some fun. He takes me out and I meet some of his friends (one of his friends gf's are now my really really good friends). But then he becomes slightly obsessive. Wondering where I was that day because I wasn't at the gym at my normal time, following me around while I worked out. Standing next to me while I ran on the treadmill. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I told him to back off. He wouldn't. One day I purposely went to the gym when I knew he wasn't working, did my thing and as I was leaving....there he was. I practically ran out of the gym and hopped in my car and as I'm pulling out, who do I see there looking like a sad puppy dog? Obsessive Trainer. I was so happy when I found out that the next week he ended up quitting and moving to Iowa or something like that.
Where we are now: He's tried to keep in contact via text and facebook. But he wouldn't get the hint after I ignored him for like 2 months. Finally I just blocked him.
Name: The Blackout Buckeye
Our story: So after I lost my first nannying job and the second one ended because they only needed me for the summer, I got a temp position in an IT department of a hospital. IT= nerdy guys and pretty much no chics. Let's just say I got a lot of numbers while I was working there. There was on guy in particular that was young and cute. I gave him my number and we started texting. One night we were both out on campus after a game and decided to meet up. He shows up, completely blacked out, I'm pretty wasted and we stumble around campus not knowing where in the world we are. Finally, we get a cab back to what I thought was his place and hook up. His place my butt. It ended being 2 of our co-workers apartment! Pretty much all of them had walked by the room and saw me sprawled out on the bed in my underwear. We continued to talk a bit, but neither of us were ready to do anything but be fuck buddies since we had just both gotten out of relationships.
Where we are now: After awhile it just kind of died out, which I was fine with because he wasn't that good of a hook anyways. Cute face but that's about all he had going for him.
Name: The Boss.
Our story: While I was hooking with Blackout Buckeye, I also was hooking with The Boss. This is how it started...I'm leaving work one day (early because I was cute and could get away with murder in that office), and my boss is jumping into his car and asks if I'm going to the bar with them. I originally was going to hit the gym, but decided, why not be social? So we get in and follow him to the bar. We're there drinking and talking, eventually more people get there and being the youngest one there they're trying to keep and I get them to do shots and drink long islands aka everyone is wasted out of their minds. I'm walking around the tables getting to know everyone and The Boss comes up behind me and starts rubbing my shoulders and putting his hand on my back. Of course, being drunk and flirty I let him and just give him a smile. He leans over and whispers to me to "Let's get out of here" and of course I do. We head out to his car and hook up...because at this point in time Class 5 has not moved out yet and turns out that this guy HAS A LIVE IN GF. I know, what a skeeze ball. Sadly, at this point I have already fallen for him and continue to hook up with him until he moves to Cali.
Where we are now: I know dear reader, I should have cut ties at least when he moved to Cali. But we still keep touch. He was in CT (I moved back home for a short stint this year) and I went to see him and we hooked. We text all the time. He was in NYC this weekend. But I resisted and did not go see him. I'm trying to be better about it and trying to JUST be friends. He makes sexual innuendos but I just try to brush them off. But like I said...I fell for him so I have a hard time cutting him off totally for right now.
Name: The Obsessive Trainer
Our Story: I started working out at my gym almost obsessively over the summer, I got to know basically everyone that worked there really well to the point where it kind of got annoying because I would spend far too much time talking to people and not enough time actually working out. This one particular trainer took a liking to me and would train me for free. He was nice but awkward. I honestly don't know how it happened but next thing I know I'm sleeping with this guy. Rebound? Yeah, probably. Okay, he have some fun. He takes me out and I meet some of his friends (one of his friends gf's are now my really really good friends). But then he becomes slightly obsessive. Wondering where I was that day because I wasn't at the gym at my normal time, following me around while I worked out. Standing next to me while I ran on the treadmill. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I told him to back off. He wouldn't. One day I purposely went to the gym when I knew he wasn't working, did my thing and as I was leaving....there he was. I practically ran out of the gym and hopped in my car and as I'm pulling out, who do I see there looking like a sad puppy dog? Obsessive Trainer. I was so happy when I found out that the next week he ended up quitting and moving to Iowa or something like that.
Where we are now: He's tried to keep in contact via text and facebook. But he wouldn't get the hint after I ignored him for like 2 months. Finally I just blocked him.
Name: The Blackout Buckeye
Our story: So after I lost my first nannying job and the second one ended because they only needed me for the summer, I got a temp position in an IT department of a hospital. IT= nerdy guys and pretty much no chics. Let's just say I got a lot of numbers while I was working there. There was on guy in particular that was young and cute. I gave him my number and we started texting. One night we were both out on campus after a game and decided to meet up. He shows up, completely blacked out, I'm pretty wasted and we stumble around campus not knowing where in the world we are. Finally, we get a cab back to what I thought was his place and hook up. His place my butt. It ended being 2 of our co-workers apartment! Pretty much all of them had walked by the room and saw me sprawled out on the bed in my underwear. We continued to talk a bit, but neither of us were ready to do anything but be fuck buddies since we had just both gotten out of relationships.
Where we are now: After awhile it just kind of died out, which I was fine with because he wasn't that good of a hook anyways. Cute face but that's about all he had going for him.
Name: The Boss.
Our story: While I was hooking with Blackout Buckeye, I also was hooking with The Boss. This is how it started...I'm leaving work one day (early because I was cute and could get away with murder in that office), and my boss is jumping into his car and asks if I'm going to the bar with them. I originally was going to hit the gym, but decided, why not be social? So we get in and follow him to the bar. We're there drinking and talking, eventually more people get there and being the youngest one there they're trying to keep and I get them to do shots and drink long islands aka everyone is wasted out of their minds. I'm walking around the tables getting to know everyone and The Boss comes up behind me and starts rubbing my shoulders and putting his hand on my back. Of course, being drunk and flirty I let him and just give him a smile. He leans over and whispers to me to "Let's get out of here" and of course I do. We head out to his car and hook up...because at this point in time Class 5 has not moved out yet and turns out that this guy HAS A LIVE IN GF. I know, what a skeeze ball. Sadly, at this point I have already fallen for him and continue to hook up with him until he moves to Cali.
Where we are now: I know dear reader, I should have cut ties at least when he moved to Cali. But we still keep touch. He was in CT (I moved back home for a short stint this year) and I went to see him and we hooked. We text all the time. He was in NYC this weekend. But I resisted and did not go see him. I'm trying to be better about it and trying to JUST be friends. He makes sexual innuendos but I just try to brush them off. But like I said...I fell for him so I have a hard time cutting him off totally for right now.
She's back and on the prowl!
Wow, it's been three years since I've written in the blog! Let me tell you so much has happened in the world of Helovemenot's dating life. Let's start from where I left off for now. You might want to grab some popcorn and a large diet soda. Sit back relax and be prepared to laugh (maybe cry...from laughing so hard).
Let's start with Class 5 clinger: Three years ago dear reader I left you hanging in the midst of a newly developed relationship with Class 5 clinger. Well after dating for only 6 months we decided to move in together. Bought a 50 inch tv, a 50 pound puppy (money mistakes 1 and 2) and called it home. We thought we were in love, we thought we would be together forever. We thought horribly horribly wrong. After moving in together we fought endlessly. Broke up probably about 5 times. Silly fights ensued over ridiculous things. Being young (me) and immature (him) we thought maybe it was because our apartment was too small. We had a big dog, and too much stuff and it was crowding each other. So after living in this apartment for 6 months, we (I) broke the lease (money mistake 3) and got a bigger apartment (money mistake 4). We were happier in the new place, each had our own spaces and the dogs (yes, plural. Money mistake 5) has room to roam. Things were fine and dandy. Until I lost my au pair job, of course one one loses a job, they tend to find one as soon as possible. So I found a temporary one for the summer. Then when that ended I found a temp position in the IT department of a hospital. I was all fine and dandy with life. Then Class 5 lost his job, however, he did not follow my example of finding a job right away and decided that it was up to me to pay for everything while she spend his nights and days staring at a computer screen fighting space ships. Lovely.
One can only put up with this for so long as you can imagine and by the time the second month of non-employment (oh and did I mention that his car died also, so we only had one functioning car), I was beginning to break. I decided one Friday night to go out with my friend on campus (she was in grad school). The plan was for me to go to her place after work since she lived right around the corner from my new job, we would make dinner, get ready and pregame the bars. Around 7, right before we started cooking dinner my friend gets a facebook chat from Class 5 asking if I'm already wasted. If you're thinking WTF right now, you're right. My friend replies nicely, no we're cooking. And he responds...oh that's a surprise, she's always wasted.
I will not lie, I do like to have more than my fair share of drinks and have fun. But really? 1. He was saying this to MY friend, when he knew I was there. 2. It was only 7pm!!! This made me ridiculously pissed. Decided right then and there I was single. Then proceed to eat dinner/drink, go out and make out with any willing guy.
Needless to say that relationship ended very quickly once I made it home the next day. I told him it was over for good (even made it facebook official!) and that he had to move out by the next weekend. The next weekend rolls around...and he leaves!! YAY!!
I walk into my apartment, relieved to have this ordeal done with. Only to find out the bastard stole one of my tvs and a ton of video games (I don't really NEED this things, but taking without asking/paying me is just rude, not to mention I had been paying his rent for the past 2 months). In the end it was a messy break up with fights over how much he owed me (I never did get a dime out of the asshole).
OH the best part was, he told me he was eventually going to win me back and propose. That was a year ago...never heard from him again. Thank god. (Though he did just unblock himself from facebook recently and I can read his ridiculous comments on our mutual friends pages. Which means sadly he is still a functioning human being...darn it!)
And there you have it, the end of Class 5 clinger saga. Let's hope I don't make anymore epic mistakes such at that one. Stay tuned for further dating updates after Class 5 and my more recent adventures!
Let's start with Class 5 clinger: Three years ago dear reader I left you hanging in the midst of a newly developed relationship with Class 5 clinger. Well after dating for only 6 months we decided to move in together. Bought a 50 inch tv, a 50 pound puppy (money mistakes 1 and 2) and called it home. We thought we were in love, we thought we would be together forever. We thought horribly horribly wrong. After moving in together we fought endlessly. Broke up probably about 5 times. Silly fights ensued over ridiculous things. Being young (me) and immature (him) we thought maybe it was because our apartment was too small. We had a big dog, and too much stuff and it was crowding each other. So after living in this apartment for 6 months, we (I) broke the lease (money mistake 3) and got a bigger apartment (money mistake 4). We were happier in the new place, each had our own spaces and the dogs (yes, plural. Money mistake 5) has room to roam. Things were fine and dandy. Until I lost my au pair job, of course one one loses a job, they tend to find one as soon as possible. So I found a temporary one for the summer. Then when that ended I found a temp position in the IT department of a hospital. I was all fine and dandy with life. Then Class 5 lost his job, however, he did not follow my example of finding a job right away and decided that it was up to me to pay for everything while she spend his nights and days staring at a computer screen fighting space ships. Lovely.
One can only put up with this for so long as you can imagine and by the time the second month of non-employment (oh and did I mention that his car died also, so we only had one functioning car), I was beginning to break. I decided one Friday night to go out with my friend on campus (she was in grad school). The plan was for me to go to her place after work since she lived right around the corner from my new job, we would make dinner, get ready and pregame the bars. Around 7, right before we started cooking dinner my friend gets a facebook chat from Class 5 asking if I'm already wasted. If you're thinking WTF right now, you're right. My friend replies nicely, no we're cooking. And he responds...oh that's a surprise, she's always wasted.
I will not lie, I do like to have more than my fair share of drinks and have fun. But really? 1. He was saying this to MY friend, when he knew I was there. 2. It was only 7pm!!! This made me ridiculously pissed. Decided right then and there I was single. Then proceed to eat dinner/drink, go out and make out with any willing guy.
Needless to say that relationship ended very quickly once I made it home the next day. I told him it was over for good (even made it facebook official!) and that he had to move out by the next weekend. The next weekend rolls around...and he leaves!! YAY!!
I walk into my apartment, relieved to have this ordeal done with. Only to find out the bastard stole one of my tvs and a ton of video games (I don't really NEED this things, but taking without asking/paying me is just rude, not to mention I had been paying his rent for the past 2 months). In the end it was a messy break up with fights over how much he owed me (I never did get a dime out of the asshole).
OH the best part was, he told me he was eventually going to win me back and propose. That was a year ago...never heard from him again. Thank god. (Though he did just unblock himself from facebook recently and I can read his ridiculous comments on our mutual friends pages. Which means sadly he is still a functioning human being...darn it!)
And there you have it, the end of Class 5 clinger saga. Let's hope I don't make anymore epic mistakes such at that one. Stay tuned for further dating updates after Class 5 and my more recent adventures!
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