So I was considering doing the January Carnival theme of First Kiss story. So I started to think about mine and realized that my story is neither funny nor cute and quite frankly...anti-climatic. It took me awhile to even REMEMBER what my first kiss WAS. How sad is that? The first romantic physical contact a young person has and mine is lost in the vaults of my mind, locked up in a nice neat little drawer with a stamp on it that says BORING. Here's what I remember:
I was on my second date with my boyfriend from high school (The Engaged Ex). We went to dinner or something, he was dropping me off in his little ancient grey honda. He leaned over and kissed me and I had the typical reaction of "What if I'm doing this wrong?" That's it. End of story. No fireworks or foot popping. No random hilariousness. Yep.
I have plenty of other stories about kissing and at least they're all entertaining. For example: Right before I left my home state after Christmas I went to a party and got fairly drunk. There was a guy there that I've always wanted to make out with him. I was on the floor of the party and they guy was standing over me. So I took advantage of it and demanded that he make out with me. My words exactly- "You, make out with me." And it happened. It was pretty sweet.
The Teacher I kinda did the same thing with. We knew were going to hook up later that night, but when I'm drunk I cannot resist making out. I'd rather just make out and do nothing else. So at the party I grabbed his hand and dragged him into the bathroom. It was steamy and my butt hurt the next day. Damn. I need some of that again. Maybe I should message him?
1/28/2009
1/25/2009
Me 101 (I couldn't actually come up with 101 facts)
Just Playing Pretend (would make that a link but I'm not technologically savvy enough) posted a list of a bunch of different facts about herself, which she copied from another blog (can't remember which one) and here I am...copying again. I thought it was pretty cool because a lot of the facts are things you wouldn't really know about the person unless you pretty much were the person...
1. I enjoy reading the same books over and over rather than new ones.
2. I wear dresses when it's negative degrees out
3. I often wonder what my life would've been like if I never started drinking or if I had stayed with my high school sweet heart.
4. I then realize my life would've been awfully boring and I'm content where I am today
5. I don't regret going skiing and tearing my acl because it opened up new doors for me
6. When I was little I thought that I really had magical powers like Bewitched
7. I never lost interest in magic and when I was in middle school bought a spell book
8. I wish my life could emulate Audrey Hepburn, but I drink and like sex too much
9. I have had sex with more people than I like to admit
10. I want to move to England more than anything in the world
11. I honestly don't think I could marry anyone that didn't have blue eyes
12. I don't like to tell people that I was a cheerleader or in a sorority because even though at the time it seemed like the cool popular thing to do...it's really not. But both are too big in my life to deny.
13. I think I was born in the wrong century/ country. I should've been born in 16th century England.
14. I look like I'm 16, which I know will be good for me in the long run, but getting carded 3 times in one night at the same bar is kinda ridiculous.
15. I like to unfriend people on facebook because I feel like there is no way that I can know over 700 people
16. I enjoy wearing headbands with bows or anything with bows
17. I'm embarassed of my large polka dot underwear collection
18. I'm convinced that I could've been a great poet if my poetry professor didn't tell me that I sucked.
19. I'm really an awkward person
20. I'm convinced that when I was younger I read too much and didn't speak enough which is why I have trouble talking today.
21. When I was little my parents and I would go fishing whenever it was nice out, I miss those happy days.
22. I'm going to the Philippines this summer and I'm honestly quite scared of going.
23. I'm afraid of being the one person in my group of friends that will be alone for the rest of my life.
24. I can't wait to get old and have an excuse to be crazy
25. I have little circle scars all over my body from scratching my chicken pox.
26. I regret graduating early from college, but know in the long run it was worth saving $10,000.
27. In 7th grade I thought it was a good idea to put blonde highlights in my black hair.
28. I probably could have done better in college if I actually applied myself
29. I have lost a couple friends in the past couple years, and I'm OKAY with it because I believe people come and go for a reason.
30. I keep a picture from my senior year homecoming with a girl a no longer talk to on my desk because I look good in it and she's gotten fat.
31. In college I changed my tastes to fit in with the people at my school
32. I hate cereal because I used to eat it all the time when I was younger
33. I'm afraid that my roommate doesn't think I'm cool because I dress like a j.crew catalog.
34. I love the j.crew catalog
35. I'm an attention whore.
1. I enjoy reading the same books over and over rather than new ones.
2. I wear dresses when it's negative degrees out
3. I often wonder what my life would've been like if I never started drinking or if I had stayed with my high school sweet heart.
4. I then realize my life would've been awfully boring and I'm content where I am today
5. I don't regret going skiing and tearing my acl because it opened up new doors for me
6. When I was little I thought that I really had magical powers like Bewitched
7. I never lost interest in magic and when I was in middle school bought a spell book
8. I wish my life could emulate Audrey Hepburn, but I drink and like sex too much
9. I have had sex with more people than I like to admit
10. I want to move to England more than anything in the world
11. I honestly don't think I could marry anyone that didn't have blue eyes
12. I don't like to tell people that I was a cheerleader or in a sorority because even though at the time it seemed like the cool popular thing to do...it's really not. But both are too big in my life to deny.
13. I think I was born in the wrong century/ country. I should've been born in 16th century England.
14. I look like I'm 16, which I know will be good for me in the long run, but getting carded 3 times in one night at the same bar is kinda ridiculous.
15. I like to unfriend people on facebook because I feel like there is no way that I can know over 700 people
16. I enjoy wearing headbands with bows or anything with bows
17. I'm embarassed of my large polka dot underwear collection
18. I'm convinced that I could've been a great poet if my poetry professor didn't tell me that I sucked.
19. I'm really an awkward person
20. I'm convinced that when I was younger I read too much and didn't speak enough which is why I have trouble talking today.
21. When I was little my parents and I would go fishing whenever it was nice out, I miss those happy days.
22. I'm going to the Philippines this summer and I'm honestly quite scared of going.
23. I'm afraid of being the one person in my group of friends that will be alone for the rest of my life.
24. I can't wait to get old and have an excuse to be crazy
25. I have little circle scars all over my body from scratching my chicken pox.
26. I regret graduating early from college, but know in the long run it was worth saving $10,000.
27. In 7th grade I thought it was a good idea to put blonde highlights in my black hair.
28. I probably could have done better in college if I actually applied myself
29. I have lost a couple friends in the past couple years, and I'm OKAY with it because I believe people come and go for a reason.
30. I keep a picture from my senior year homecoming with a girl a no longer talk to on my desk because I look good in it and she's gotten fat.
31. In college I changed my tastes to fit in with the people at my school
32. I hate cereal because I used to eat it all the time when I was younger
33. I'm afraid that my roommate doesn't think I'm cool because I dress like a j.crew catalog.
34. I love the j.crew catalog
35. I'm an attention whore.
1/23/2009
THE ENEMY
So last night while on facebook, just stalking random people 2 very interesting things happened. First, there was this girl that ruined things with me and the Teacher about 2 months ago, she was a total bitch to me basically made hi get mad at me because she kept saying I was ridiculous (I was wasted...come on you can't judge a person then). Ever since then I haven't talked to the Teacher, which was fine because I was losing interest. Well, last night the Teacher decides to actually talk to me. Out of the blue. Maybe he's coming back around? Guess we'll see.
Well, I've also been talking to this other guy online like everyday. He's really nice and we have a lot in common and just talk. Usually online convos are awkward (at least for me) because there are those long pauses and you don't know if you should say something or wait until they say something because what if they're not even at their computer anymore. And also, talking online you don't get the tone they're talking in and they don't get yours. So they may crack a joke that you don't get because it's not delivered the way they think it was. With him, it just clicks and there are a lot of jokes. Let's hope that it's that way when and if we actually meet. Anyways, we've been talking and I decided to facebook stalk him and just recently he got a new friend. Let's call her "Sally Laura." Well my enemy that ruined things with the teacher just so happens to have changed her name to "Sally Laura," you know a lot of people are changing their names on facebook to the first name middle name thing so it might be a coincedence. Just to make sure, I click on it. And wouldn't you know...it's THE ENEMY!!!! What the hell?! Of all the people in the world for us to have in common it's HER. She's ALREADY ruined it for me with one guy. I really hope it doesn't happen AGAIN. He isn't even from where she's from, so how the hell. I'm afraid to friend him and then ask because it would seem too stalkerish. Though, that is what facebook is for.
This new guy, we'll call him Irish. So Irish and the Teacher, both have The Enemy blocking me. I wish I could have another run in with her AND DESTROY HER. Okay...I know a bit dramatic. But I really can't stand the bitch (sorry for the poor vocabulary, but there was lack of a better word).
Well, I've also been talking to this other guy online like everyday. He's really nice and we have a lot in common and just talk. Usually online convos are awkward (at least for me) because there are those long pauses and you don't know if you should say something or wait until they say something because what if they're not even at their computer anymore. And also, talking online you don't get the tone they're talking in and they don't get yours. So they may crack a joke that you don't get because it's not delivered the way they think it was. With him, it just clicks and there are a lot of jokes. Let's hope that it's that way when and if we actually meet. Anyways, we've been talking and I decided to facebook stalk him and just recently he got a new friend. Let's call her "Sally Laura." Well my enemy that ruined things with the teacher just so happens to have changed her name to "Sally Laura," you know a lot of people are changing their names on facebook to the first name middle name thing so it might be a coincedence. Just to make sure, I click on it. And wouldn't you know...it's THE ENEMY!!!! What the hell?! Of all the people in the world for us to have in common it's HER. She's ALREADY ruined it for me with one guy. I really hope it doesn't happen AGAIN. He isn't even from where she's from, so how the hell. I'm afraid to friend him and then ask because it would seem too stalkerish. Though, that is what facebook is for.
This new guy, we'll call him Irish. So Irish and the Teacher, both have The Enemy blocking me. I wish I could have another run in with her AND DESTROY HER. Okay...I know a bit dramatic. But I really can't stand the bitch (sorry for the poor vocabulary, but there was lack of a better word).
1/21/2009
Delay in posting due to exhaustion
This week I started my really exciting...nanny job! Woo hoo. It's been okay so far, I wish the mom would start work already so that I can do things my way and not have her looking over my shoulder every five seconds. But anyways, chasing 3 little boys around has left me pretty beat.
Moving on...update on my dating website. less than a week later I have about 800 hits on my profile. 200 "i like your profile" hints and 40 emails. I've blocked about 600, rejected 150 and responded to like 15 emails. A girls gotta be picky. I mean come on skeezy 40 year old men from some hick town? Pass. Dorky guy that I could break in half? Pass. Big guy that could break me? Double pass.
There are some winners though in my slim pickings. I actually went out on a blind date monday. It was fun, but he was a lot shyer than me and really hard to break the ice with. Apparently he had a good time though and wants to hang again. I have other ones that are interested though too, some that I've been talking a lot online to, two that I'm really looking forward to meeting. One of them has these amazing blue eyes that I'm such a sucker for! and we have a lot in common. The other we just have a lot in common and he's so easy to talk to. I can't wait to fill my schedule with even more dates! I'll be a lean mean casual dating machine. Which will be new and different for me because I'm more of a let's get drunk and meet random guys to make out with and maybe they'll ask me for my number or even remember my name the next day kind of girl. We're turning a new page here people!!! Get ready for helovesmenot to take on the world!!
Moving on...update on my dating website. less than a week later I have about 800 hits on my profile. 200 "i like your profile" hints and 40 emails. I've blocked about 600, rejected 150 and responded to like 15 emails. A girls gotta be picky. I mean come on skeezy 40 year old men from some hick town? Pass. Dorky guy that I could break in half? Pass. Big guy that could break me? Double pass.
There are some winners though in my slim pickings. I actually went out on a blind date monday. It was fun, but he was a lot shyer than me and really hard to break the ice with. Apparently he had a good time though and wants to hang again. I have other ones that are interested though too, some that I've been talking a lot online to, two that I'm really looking forward to meeting. One of them has these amazing blue eyes that I'm such a sucker for! and we have a lot in common. The other we just have a lot in common and he's so easy to talk to. I can't wait to fill my schedule with even more dates! I'll be a lean mean casual dating machine. Which will be new and different for me because I'm more of a let's get drunk and meet random guys to make out with and maybe they'll ask me for my number or even remember my name the next day kind of girl. We're turning a new page here people!!! Get ready for helovesmenot to take on the world!!
1/17/2009
spinthebottle, match.com, eharmony, truematch...whats your website of choice?
I have been joking around about joining one of these sites when I turn 25 if I'm still single for a really long time. There's something really intriguing about these websites, meet someone without having to leave your home! I know there are also the extremely sketchy sides to it, stalkers, just plain creepy guys and unsafe situations. On the bright side, you can always just be that weird person that only talks to them online and never leave the safety of your computer screen. But then why would you pay $35 to do something that you could do for free in a chatroom?
My roomie's bf said that guys only join these sites to get laid, but why would they go through filling out a profile? Why don't they just go to a bar and get drunk and hit on some girls there? It seems like that would be a lot easier than trying to convince some girl that honestly just wants to meet a guy to come out and meet you and have dinner or coffee and then convince to bang you. I know that it wouldn't work on my or any of my friends. I guess there has to be a bunch of trashy girls out there that it would work on though. There has to be nice guys on there if they are willing to put in that effort of paying and creating that detailed profile that isn't full of "long walks on the beach and puppies" blah blah. It just seems so time consuming just for one bang.
On that note, I'm not going to lie to you. I join a site. I'm not going to tell you which one because I'm slightly embarassed and I hope no one I know finds out. But I've already had 165 hits on my profile (i'm going to be honest, sometimes I'm pretty good looking- not all the time but I can take the occasional good picture). I ton of people have sent me the pre-talking sign and a handful of guys emailed me and 3 sent me instant messages. 2 are potentials, the other no is just too old I think and I still am kinda in my college mode I just wanna have fun and not take anything seriously. I did talk to this one guy today and he seemed pretty cool, goes to the same bars I go to and he already gave me his phone number. I know there's a reason why people sign up on these sites. But I mean, I did and I'm not a creeper at least I hope so? I just have a hard time meeting guys when I'm not out of my mind drunk and that only time I meet them is at the bar or being set up (that guy from last weekend is interested in me..bleck). I'm sick of those being the only ways. So this seems like a good alternative right? Right.
My roomie's bf said that guys only join these sites to get laid, but why would they go through filling out a profile? Why don't they just go to a bar and get drunk and hit on some girls there? It seems like that would be a lot easier than trying to convince some girl that honestly just wants to meet a guy to come out and meet you and have dinner or coffee and then convince to bang you. I know that it wouldn't work on my or any of my friends. I guess there has to be a bunch of trashy girls out there that it would work on though. There has to be nice guys on there if they are willing to put in that effort of paying and creating that detailed profile that isn't full of "long walks on the beach and puppies" blah blah. It just seems so time consuming just for one bang.
On that note, I'm not going to lie to you. I join a site. I'm not going to tell you which one because I'm slightly embarassed and I hope no one I know finds out. But I've already had 165 hits on my profile (i'm going to be honest, sometimes I'm pretty good looking- not all the time but I can take the occasional good picture). I ton of people have sent me the pre-talking sign and a handful of guys emailed me and 3 sent me instant messages. 2 are potentials, the other no is just too old I think and I still am kinda in my college mode I just wanna have fun and not take anything seriously. I did talk to this one guy today and he seemed pretty cool, goes to the same bars I go to and he already gave me his phone number. I know there's a reason why people sign up on these sites. But I mean, I did and I'm not a creeper at least I hope so? I just have a hard time meeting guys when I'm not out of my mind drunk and that only time I meet them is at the bar or being set up (that guy from last weekend is interested in me..bleck). I'm sick of those being the only ways. So this seems like a good alternative right? Right.
1/16/2009
Get outta my house!
Okay, so I'm not some big time working girl. I don't have a glamorous high paying job, or even a high paying job at that. I take care of your kids while you're at work, do some minimal cleaning and take advantage of your 2000 stations. Yeah, I'm your nanny. However, I haven't actually started yet. So for now I was just babysitting the twins that I've been watching for the past year and a half while I was in college, it's only for half a day though.
Well, today I come home after a particularly not so good day. I woke up with a headache (might have something to do with that red wine I guzzled down last night) and the boys seemed to be insanely loud today. I walk in the door to my apartment ready for some nice quiet helovesmenot time only to find roomie's bf chillin on my couch shirtless. Why didn't he go home? Why is he ALWAYS here? Okay, I know I said I do like him. BUT REALLY?! I just wanted to colapse on my couch and watch some bad daytime tv. But no i had to watch golf and talk to him and I just really wasn't in the freaking mood for it. OH AND HE ATE MY LEFTOVERS THAT I WAS GOING TO EAT FOR LUNCH. He actually eats a lot of our food. Is it wrong of me to demand that he start paying for some of it? I'm currently going on a grocery shopping strike because I have bought most of the food and he eats it. I don't care if I go hungry. I should've kept my mini fridge to hide my food in. But then that would be really weird if I started hording all my food in my bedroom.
Sorry for this ridiculous rant, but I'm just really grumpy and want to just go out and get drunk with my friends, but none of them are back from winter break yet.
Well, today I come home after a particularly not so good day. I woke up with a headache (might have something to do with that red wine I guzzled down last night) and the boys seemed to be insanely loud today. I walk in the door to my apartment ready for some nice quiet helovesmenot time only to find roomie's bf chillin on my couch shirtless. Why didn't he go home? Why is he ALWAYS here? Okay, I know I said I do like him. BUT REALLY?! I just wanted to colapse on my couch and watch some bad daytime tv. But no i had to watch golf and talk to him and I just really wasn't in the freaking mood for it. OH AND HE ATE MY LEFTOVERS THAT I WAS GOING TO EAT FOR LUNCH. He actually eats a lot of our food. Is it wrong of me to demand that he start paying for some of it? I'm currently going on a grocery shopping strike because I have bought most of the food and he eats it. I don't care if I go hungry. I should've kept my mini fridge to hide my food in. But then that would be really weird if I started hording all my food in my bedroom.
Sorry for this ridiculous rant, but I'm just really grumpy and want to just go out and get drunk with my friends, but none of them are back from winter break yet.
1/15/2009
Thanks for pointing out my patheticness
I decided the other day that I needed to do something with my life that made me feel good about myself (other than my usual retail therapy...my credit card is hurting at the moment :/ ). I was huge on volunteering in college and high school, so I decided to continue with that and signed up for big brothers, big sisters. I'm really excited about it because it will give me a chance to NOT be a third wheel once a week.
This morning I went to my interview (you know find out if I'm a creeper or anything) and one of the questions was what my relationship status is (single), is there potential for a relationship in the near future (nope), have a had a relationship in the past 6 months (I can't really count The Brit because we never officially dated). Dude, let me tell you throughout this painful part of the questioning I tried to keep a nice happy smile on my face. But the girl interviewing me kept giving me this very sad "I am so sorry" kind of look and I really just wanted to punch her in the face. Just because I'm single and have been for quiet sometime does not mean I need your sympathy. Being single is NOT the end of the world people.
Okay, yes I DO want a boyfriend because I'm a sucker for having a nice broad shoulder to lean on and having someone to call me beautiful and someone to make me feel like the center of the world and have stupid fights with and I'm not going to lie I love sex (and I'm in a serious drought right now grrrrr). But sometimes I'm like shit, I like being single. I don't have a guy to worry about where he is, if he's cheating on me. I have endless amounts of alone time. I don't have anyone to compete with about intelligence. I know I whine and complain about being single, but sometimes it's nice to be alone. I watch my roomie and her bf and how she gets frustrated when he is relentless in a debate and how sometimes she just wants to chill without him but he comes over EVERYNIGHT and I'm glad I don't have to deal with that. BUT FOR GODSAKES PEOPLE THERE IS NO NEED TO FEEL SORRY FOR THE SINGLE GIRL. Having a BF is NOT everything. Which is why I'm there to volunteer. I'm sure the girl was thinking too, "Oh this poor girl has no man in her life which is why she is volunteer because she has nothing better to do." I'm just trying to MAKE A DIFFERENCE not fill up my pathetic single girl life because I have no boyfriend. I know I sound pretty pathetic from my repsonses to my questions because I have had no relationships lately and maybe I have been lonely. But I get by.
SO people, next time you meet a single girl please please please don't give her a sympathetic look or pat her on the shoulder and tell her that it's okay because the right man will come around. Shove a drink in her face and tell her to drink up, hit the dance floor and have some fun! I wish my friends would do that to me, mostly just because I like free drinks.
This morning I went to my interview (you know find out if I'm a creeper or anything) and one of the questions was what my relationship status is (single), is there potential for a relationship in the near future (nope), have a had a relationship in the past 6 months (I can't really count The Brit because we never officially dated). Dude, let me tell you throughout this painful part of the questioning I tried to keep a nice happy smile on my face. But the girl interviewing me kept giving me this very sad "I am so sorry" kind of look and I really just wanted to punch her in the face. Just because I'm single and have been for quiet sometime does not mean I need your sympathy. Being single is NOT the end of the world people.
Okay, yes I DO want a boyfriend because I'm a sucker for having a nice broad shoulder to lean on and having someone to call me beautiful and someone to make me feel like the center of the world and have stupid fights with and I'm not going to lie I love sex (and I'm in a serious drought right now grrrrr). But sometimes I'm like shit, I like being single. I don't have a guy to worry about where he is, if he's cheating on me. I have endless amounts of alone time. I don't have anyone to compete with about intelligence. I know I whine and complain about being single, but sometimes it's nice to be alone. I watch my roomie and her bf and how she gets frustrated when he is relentless in a debate and how sometimes she just wants to chill without him but he comes over EVERYNIGHT and I'm glad I don't have to deal with that. BUT FOR GODSAKES PEOPLE THERE IS NO NEED TO FEEL SORRY FOR THE SINGLE GIRL. Having a BF is NOT everything. Which is why I'm there to volunteer. I'm sure the girl was thinking too, "Oh this poor girl has no man in her life which is why she is volunteer because she has nothing better to do." I'm just trying to MAKE A DIFFERENCE not fill up my pathetic single girl life because I have no boyfriend. I know I sound pretty pathetic from my repsonses to my questions because I have had no relationships lately and maybe I have been lonely. But I get by.
SO people, next time you meet a single girl please please please don't give her a sympathetic look or pat her on the shoulder and tell her that it's okay because the right man will come around. Shove a drink in her face and tell her to drink up, hit the dance floor and have some fun! I wish my friends would do that to me, mostly just because I like free drinks.
1/14/2009
Send him on the next bus
Problem #1: Last night after going through my love life and rereading me gushing over the Brit, I realized how pathetic I've been for the past 3 months pining over him. I need to officially work on getting over him. No more facebook stalking him first thing when I get up in the morning or hoping that he'll call me or listening to songs that remind me of him. So I decided to delete all my "Brit" play lists and minimize the amount I facebook stalk. I can't just cut it cold turkey because I'm not going to lie, yesterday I broke down and sent him a facebook message telling him that I miss him. So obviously this morning I woke up, checked my email to see if he sent anything back, and nothing. Then I checked to see if he even signed on today. No. I doubt I will hear anything back and I really just need to get over it. I ruined stuff with the Teacher because I couldn't let go of the Brit and I've been miserable thinking about him all the time. I wasn't even trying to get over him. Now I will et over him. Good bye Brit, get on the next bus.
Problem #2 my roommates BF is trying to set me up with one of his friends, like I said before he's nice and funny. But I'm just not attracted to him at all. The other night when we got back to my apartment I basically told him to hop on the next bus by telling him I was going to bed and closing the door in his face. Roommate's BF is relentless though and wants the four of us to go to karaoke tonight. I really really don't want it to just be the four of us. It would be better if there was a bigger group. I guess I'm going to have to explain to him that he is far far far in the friend zone. If not I'm going to really tell that he needs to hop on the next bus, the end. This being set up thing has not been successful so far. Hopefully, roomie's BF either finds me a cuter friend and gives up on the short friend. Or I need to just find my own guy.
Problem #2 my roommates BF is trying to set me up with one of his friends, like I said before he's nice and funny. But I'm just not attracted to him at all. The other night when we got back to my apartment I basically told him to hop on the next bus by telling him I was going to bed and closing the door in his face. Roommate's BF is relentless though and wants the four of us to go to karaoke tonight. I really really don't want it to just be the four of us. It would be better if there was a bigger group. I guess I'm going to have to explain to him that he is far far far in the friend zone. If not I'm going to really tell that he needs to hop on the next bus, the end. This being set up thing has not been successful so far. Hopefully, roomie's BF either finds me a cuter friend and gives up on the short friend. Or I need to just find my own guy.
1/13/2009
and the list goes on.
So I was going to wait until tomorrow to continue this list of past guys. But I decided I was having too much fun to stop now. Where was I? Oh yeah, the Biggest Mistake. Well after him things got complicated. I was hurt by him because he trampled over my emotions for over 9 months and I was finally free of him. So I made my rounds with various guys that don't deserve more than just a few words.
Name: The Concert Lawn
Story: Made out on the lawn of a FOB concert. Then met up a couple other times to hook up. He was a past high school crush and I was thrilled that he finally liked me. He moved to the city though and we haven't spoken since.
Name: The Metro
Story: We hooked up one drunken night while my friend was passed out in the other room, he wanted my number but I "forgot" to give it to him. We hung out a few other times but that's all.
Name: The Player
Story: The Metro's friend. He had a girlfriend but at this point in my life I was so mentally messed up by Biggest Mistake that I didn't care. He left right after we hooked up and I never saw him again.
Then there were bigger ones that summer...
Name: The Old Man
Time dated: We weren't officially a couple but we dated for about 2 months. I know it shouldn't count but it was high emotion.
Our story: I was working at an insurance company and would talk on the phone during my lunch break to my friend in the conservatory of the building. There were always a ton of people there, a lot of bike couriers taking a break from the hot city. I started to notice this one guy looking at me whenever I was down there so I would smile at him and finally one day he asked me out to lunch. It was a good time and we started having lunches together...when out found out that he was 10 years my senior!!! Okay, I should've stopped there. But he was so nice that I didn't want to give up because he wasn't letting the age thing stop him. We had fun we climbed a mountain, we went to the beach, he made me dinner, we drank and had good sex. But then the summer started to wind down and I asked him where we were going. I was leaving in 4 weeks for my junior year of college. He said that he couldn't do long distance because he needed someone physically there for him. Then it ended.
Where we are now: Story to be continued....
Name: The Alcoholic
Our story: After the Old man I was heart broken for the second time that summer. I cried for a week at my second job. The Alcoholic who was seeing my friend earlier, but that had ended badly for him just about the same time. Then one night two sadly lonely people got together got wasted and hooked up and continued to hook up/date until the end of summer. We tried to make it work while I was at school, but he didn't understand that even though I only had classes for 3 hours a day my day didn't end there, I had my babysitting job and homework and hanging out with friends and meetings-he didn't go to college and just got mad when I didn't have time to talk. The relatioship was too new to really last through long distance and I found a great interest in the male swimmers body.
So that was my real official relationship. I've been single ever since then. But guys have come and gone.
Name: The Roommate
Our story: That winter break I started hanging out at my friend BBF's apartment a lot because there were no parents around to stop us from underage drinking. Well, BFF had 2 male roommates, one taken one single. and the single took an interest in me. We hit it off and started talking and hanging out without BFF around. It seemed good, but she told him about my past so he became too scared to take it any farther. I went back to school and we still talked. I wanted to make it more, but he didn't so we fought and it ended. To be continued...
Name: The Old Man part 2
and it continued...: I went home for spring break junior year and went into the city one day to have lunch with my mom and I saw The Old Man's friends and the place where we worked and got all nostalgic. I texted him but he didn't respond until it was too late to actually see him. But we hit it off again over the phone and started talking almost every night. I thought maybe someone was coming back into my life for good. I was wrong. As the time got closer to me going back home for the summer, he started calling less. Until finally when I got home he didn't respond at all to my calls, texts and emails. Finally, our story ended and not happily ever after.
Name: The Roommate part 2
and it continued...: Clearly at this point I really just wanted to find someone to date. One drunken night I blacked out and made out with the Roommate again. He still liked me and I thought maybe since I made out with him that I had some repressed feelings for him. We went out on 3 dates and there was nothing. I was about to leave for England to study there for awhile and told him that if we still felt the same when I got back maybe it would be something, I knew there wouldn't be anything. So I left him with his hopes up. Oops.
Where we are now: I still run into him a lot because BFF is dating one of his friends. But not as much because BFF moved out. It's pretty awkward when we do meet up though and he always proceeds to get wasted. I feel really bad because he obviously isn't over it.
Name: British guy of my dreams aka The Brit
Our story: So I left the Roommate back on the other side of the ocean and ventured into the land of sexy accents. Where I met The Brit, we was our bartendar where we would go every wednesday for karaoke and I would proceed to get really drunk and sing bad 90's tunes at the top of my lungs. Well he still thought I was cute, despite having no singing voice and he had a gf. That relationship was going south though, and after resisting my advances he finally gave in. We went out basically on a 20 hour date, lunch break for class, dinner and drinks. All ending with us seriously just cuddling. It was amazing. I fell for him and hard. He was torn because he didn't want to break up with his gf over the phone. Finally, he did break up with her and we finally kissed and hooked up. And it was the most amazing night of my life. Unfortunately it was at the end of my stay and I left wanting more. However, we kept in touch over the summer and I fell in love with him. We made plans for me to visit him in Italy and we talked everyday. But then he called me one night and told me he made out with another girl. We weren't really dating, but he felt really bad and things went downhill. We stopped talking everyday. I considered cancelling my trip. Finally, there were 2 weeks without a word from him and I was going crazy. He finally sent me a message on my birthday. Then nothing for another two weeks. I was heart broken. Coming home from the bar one night I wrote him an epic email telling him just how broken I was. Nothing from him for a week. Then he tried to call but I was looking for a job and had an interview so I couldn't talk. That was it from him. I have sent him messages asking him to please still talk to me. But I haven't heard from him for two months.
Name: The Teacher
Our story: Another older man entered my life during the crazy time of The Brit. He graduated from my school several years before me and was back for an alumni weekend. We met the first night and I knew he wanted to hook up, but I was still torn up about The Brit, so after hanging out for awhile I ran away. Of course the next day, while sober I ran into him again when hanging out in a friends apartment. He was funny and a lot better looking than I remembered. So I decided to let him know I was interested. After I left I texted my friends BF who is friends with him and he of course passed on the word. That night when pregaming he came to my friends room with her BF to hang out. We were inseperable the whole night, literally. In the morning he asked for my number and left. I thought I would never hear from him again. But a week later an unknown number popped up and it was him. We talked until 3 in the morning and almost everyday after that. He even got upset when I hadn't talked to him in a couple days. But he was a Teacher and never had time to actually come see me again. We did go out on a date when I was in his part of town. But then nothing. Ran into each other at a party but there was a girl that likes him and sabotaged any chance I had with him. We don't talk anymore.
Where am I now?: Sadly, I am still hung up on the Brit. I never had real feelings for The Teacher even though I thought I did. I made out with a couple guys in the meantime but none of them meant anything and I met a really nice guy the other night. But I just wasn't interested (he was really really short!) I think about The Brit everyday and wish I had given him a chance to explain himself. I thought this was supposed to get easier, but it hasn't especially as the time gets closer to when I was supposed to go visit him. This morning I sent him another message telling him this in hopes of hearing someting back. But I doubt I will. I know it would have never worked because we're just too far away. But I really feel like he was the first guy I ever really loved because we had so much in common. I miss him more than anything in the world. I know this sounds sappy coming from the girl who went through so many guys in such a small period of time. But I never got hung up on any of them like I have with The Brit. I know that nothing will ever be the same. So I will continue my search for his American Doppleganger.
Name: The Concert Lawn
Story: Made out on the lawn of a FOB concert. Then met up a couple other times to hook up. He was a past high school crush and I was thrilled that he finally liked me. He moved to the city though and we haven't spoken since.
Name: The Metro
Story: We hooked up one drunken night while my friend was passed out in the other room, he wanted my number but I "forgot" to give it to him. We hung out a few other times but that's all.
Name: The Player
Story: The Metro's friend. He had a girlfriend but at this point in my life I was so mentally messed up by Biggest Mistake that I didn't care. He left right after we hooked up and I never saw him again.
Then there were bigger ones that summer...
Name: The Old Man
Time dated: We weren't officially a couple but we dated for about 2 months. I know it shouldn't count but it was high emotion.
Our story: I was working at an insurance company and would talk on the phone during my lunch break to my friend in the conservatory of the building. There were always a ton of people there, a lot of bike couriers taking a break from the hot city. I started to notice this one guy looking at me whenever I was down there so I would smile at him and finally one day he asked me out to lunch. It was a good time and we started having lunches together...when out found out that he was 10 years my senior!!! Okay, I should've stopped there. But he was so nice that I didn't want to give up because he wasn't letting the age thing stop him. We had fun we climbed a mountain, we went to the beach, he made me dinner, we drank and had good sex. But then the summer started to wind down and I asked him where we were going. I was leaving in 4 weeks for my junior year of college. He said that he couldn't do long distance because he needed someone physically there for him. Then it ended.
Where we are now: Story to be continued....
Name: The Alcoholic
Our story: After the Old man I was heart broken for the second time that summer. I cried for a week at my second job. The Alcoholic who was seeing my friend earlier, but that had ended badly for him just about the same time. Then one night two sadly lonely people got together got wasted and hooked up and continued to hook up/date until the end of summer. We tried to make it work while I was at school, but he didn't understand that even though I only had classes for 3 hours a day my day didn't end there, I had my babysitting job and homework and hanging out with friends and meetings-he didn't go to college and just got mad when I didn't have time to talk. The relatioship was too new to really last through long distance and I found a great interest in the male swimmers body.
So that was my real official relationship. I've been single ever since then. But guys have come and gone.
Name: The Roommate
Our story: That winter break I started hanging out at my friend BBF's apartment a lot because there were no parents around to stop us from underage drinking. Well, BFF had 2 male roommates, one taken one single. and the single took an interest in me. We hit it off and started talking and hanging out without BFF around. It seemed good, but she told him about my past so he became too scared to take it any farther. I went back to school and we still talked. I wanted to make it more, but he didn't so we fought and it ended. To be continued...
Name: The Old Man part 2
and it continued...: I went home for spring break junior year and went into the city one day to have lunch with my mom and I saw The Old Man's friends and the place where we worked and got all nostalgic. I texted him but he didn't respond until it was too late to actually see him. But we hit it off again over the phone and started talking almost every night. I thought maybe someone was coming back into my life for good. I was wrong. As the time got closer to me going back home for the summer, he started calling less. Until finally when I got home he didn't respond at all to my calls, texts and emails. Finally, our story ended and not happily ever after.
Name: The Roommate part 2
and it continued...: Clearly at this point I really just wanted to find someone to date. One drunken night I blacked out and made out with the Roommate again. He still liked me and I thought maybe since I made out with him that I had some repressed feelings for him. We went out on 3 dates and there was nothing. I was about to leave for England to study there for awhile and told him that if we still felt the same when I got back maybe it would be something, I knew there wouldn't be anything. So I left him with his hopes up. Oops.
Where we are now: I still run into him a lot because BFF is dating one of his friends. But not as much because BFF moved out. It's pretty awkward when we do meet up though and he always proceeds to get wasted. I feel really bad because he obviously isn't over it.
Name: British guy of my dreams aka The Brit
Our story: So I left the Roommate back on the other side of the ocean and ventured into the land of sexy accents. Where I met The Brit, we was our bartendar where we would go every wednesday for karaoke and I would proceed to get really drunk and sing bad 90's tunes at the top of my lungs. Well he still thought I was cute, despite having no singing voice and he had a gf. That relationship was going south though, and after resisting my advances he finally gave in. We went out basically on a 20 hour date, lunch break for class, dinner and drinks. All ending with us seriously just cuddling. It was amazing. I fell for him and hard. He was torn because he didn't want to break up with his gf over the phone. Finally, he did break up with her and we finally kissed and hooked up. And it was the most amazing night of my life. Unfortunately it was at the end of my stay and I left wanting more. However, we kept in touch over the summer and I fell in love with him. We made plans for me to visit him in Italy and we talked everyday. But then he called me one night and told me he made out with another girl. We weren't really dating, but he felt really bad and things went downhill. We stopped talking everyday. I considered cancelling my trip. Finally, there were 2 weeks without a word from him and I was going crazy. He finally sent me a message on my birthday. Then nothing for another two weeks. I was heart broken. Coming home from the bar one night I wrote him an epic email telling him just how broken I was. Nothing from him for a week. Then he tried to call but I was looking for a job and had an interview so I couldn't talk. That was it from him. I have sent him messages asking him to please still talk to me. But I haven't heard from him for two months.
Name: The Teacher
Our story: Another older man entered my life during the crazy time of The Brit. He graduated from my school several years before me and was back for an alumni weekend. We met the first night and I knew he wanted to hook up, but I was still torn up about The Brit, so after hanging out for awhile I ran away. Of course the next day, while sober I ran into him again when hanging out in a friends apartment. He was funny and a lot better looking than I remembered. So I decided to let him know I was interested. After I left I texted my friends BF who is friends with him and he of course passed on the word. That night when pregaming he came to my friends room with her BF to hang out. We were inseperable the whole night, literally. In the morning he asked for my number and left. I thought I would never hear from him again. But a week later an unknown number popped up and it was him. We talked until 3 in the morning and almost everyday after that. He even got upset when I hadn't talked to him in a couple days. But he was a Teacher and never had time to actually come see me again. We did go out on a date when I was in his part of town. But then nothing. Ran into each other at a party but there was a girl that likes him and sabotaged any chance I had with him. We don't talk anymore.
Where am I now?: Sadly, I am still hung up on the Brit. I never had real feelings for The Teacher even though I thought I did. I made out with a couple guys in the meantime but none of them meant anything and I met a really nice guy the other night. But I just wasn't interested (he was really really short!) I think about The Brit everyday and wish I had given him a chance to explain himself. I thought this was supposed to get easier, but it hasn't especially as the time gets closer to when I was supposed to go visit him. This morning I sent him another message telling him this in hopes of hearing someting back. But I doubt I will. I know it would have never worked because we're just too far away. But I really feel like he was the first guy I ever really loved because we had so much in common. I miss him more than anything in the world. I know this sounds sappy coming from the girl who went through so many guys in such a small period of time. But I never got hung up on any of them like I have with The Brit. I know that nothing will ever be the same. So I will continue my search for his American Doppleganger.
You can pick a field full of daisies
Last night as I sat in the living room with my roommate and her boyfriend (the third wheel as usual), I realized how ridiculous my love life the past couple years have been. The best part is, it continues to get more hilarious and ridiculous as the years go on. It's really funny at the time everything is happening. But looking back on it now, I can't really help but laugh at myself, mostly because my life is a joke. So here's my anonymous blog of a girl just looking for love and mostly in all the wrong places (ie. dark corners of bars and crowded dorm room parties).
Here's some short profiles of the guys I have had come in and out of my life.
Name: Engaged Ex
Time dated: 3 years
Our story: He dated my now best friend from home. I wasn't really friends with her until college so it was fine that we dated. However, the relationship had run its course, at least for me it had, it was another story for him. The short version- I left for college started drinking and making up a new life and he was still hanging on. I broke up with him and disaster ensued. He would leave 10 minute messages on my phone, 5 page long emails blah blah blah.
Where we are now: His dad passed away about 2 years ago and that was the last time we talked. I haven't physically seen him since the day I left for college 3.5 years ago. He's now engaged to some girl that is like 5 years older than me, which I'm fine with because 1. he got fat and 2. that would have been me and I'm no where near ready to get married. (I secretly want to crash the wedding).
Name: The Shy Ginger
Time dated: 7 months
Our story: And here starts the crash course dating I experienced in college. We had a lot of mutual friends, but I was out going and he was very very quiet. I had my fair share of hook ups (who doesn't want to make out with a drunk freshman girl?) but I met this quiet guy and decided that to settle down for the rest of my freshman year. We were an odd couple needless to say and kind of boring.
Where we are now: We broke up over the summer because I started seeing this guy that I had a crush on in high school. We're not really friends but we still say hi to each other. I moved to another group of friends which is why we don't hang out, if I didn't, I bet we'd still be pretty close.
Name: The Drug Dealer
Time dated: not long enough to matter
Our story: He was my dance teachers son, and had to take tap class because he didn't to a sport. We would sit together and talk during ballet (I took ballet on a different night), but we never dated because we never had the guts to tell each other how we felt and then I started to date the Engaged Ex. When I came back from college for that first summer, I saw him at the recital and we clicked again. We went out on a few dates, I broke up with the Shy Ginger. But then he stopped calling. Mostly because he got arrested for dealing at the beach. I would call him drunkenly sometimes but nothing ever really came out of that.
Name: Biggest Mistake
Time dated: 9 months
Our story: Sophomore year, I blacked out at a party so my friends carried me up to their room and deposited me on their futon and I still demanded shots of vodka (they gave me water and I knew it was water and yelled at them). The Biggest Mistake was there that night because he was friends with them and laughed at me because I was crazy. I passed out and him and his roommate were like is she dead? I sat up said no and passed right back out. We became facebook friends and started talking. We hung out, but I was too afraid to commit to a relationship and he was getting mad. Finally, I gave in and we started officially dating. Things went well for awhile, but then the honeymoon ended and he was an asshole to me. Started telling me I was too demanding and that I was manipulating. We left for winter break on bad terms, but stayed together because I had plane tickets to go see him (I also cheated on him twice with the same guy over break). I did go see him and everything went back to normal, except I tore my ACL, which would change my life for good (I was a dancer- and would never go back to it). After my accident I was always upset and he was not comforting at all and after my surgery he said that I was too depressing to be around and would leave me in my room alone while he went out and got drunk. He later even told me that he didn't love me anymore. Why did I still stay with a guy that wouldn't even visit me after my surgery you ask? I don't have the answer to that. But we stayed together until summer, when I finally decided to slowly end the relationship. I stopped calling him as much and finally it ended.
Where we are now: He acts as if I don't exist, therefore I do that same. We can pass each other on campus and act like those 9 months of our lives never even happened. (He wasn't even that good of a bang).
Here's some short profiles of the guys I have had come in and out of my life.
Name: Engaged Ex
Time dated: 3 years
Our story: He dated my now best friend from home. I wasn't really friends with her until college so it was fine that we dated. However, the relationship had run its course, at least for me it had, it was another story for him. The short version- I left for college started drinking and making up a new life and he was still hanging on. I broke up with him and disaster ensued. He would leave 10 minute messages on my phone, 5 page long emails blah blah blah.
Where we are now: His dad passed away about 2 years ago and that was the last time we talked. I haven't physically seen him since the day I left for college 3.5 years ago. He's now engaged to some girl that is like 5 years older than me, which I'm fine with because 1. he got fat and 2. that would have been me and I'm no where near ready to get married. (I secretly want to crash the wedding).
Name: The Shy Ginger
Time dated: 7 months
Our story: And here starts the crash course dating I experienced in college. We had a lot of mutual friends, but I was out going and he was very very quiet. I had my fair share of hook ups (who doesn't want to make out with a drunk freshman girl?) but I met this quiet guy and decided that to settle down for the rest of my freshman year. We were an odd couple needless to say and kind of boring.
Where we are now: We broke up over the summer because I started seeing this guy that I had a crush on in high school. We're not really friends but we still say hi to each other. I moved to another group of friends which is why we don't hang out, if I didn't, I bet we'd still be pretty close.
Name: The Drug Dealer
Time dated: not long enough to matter
Our story: He was my dance teachers son, and had to take tap class because he didn't to a sport. We would sit together and talk during ballet (I took ballet on a different night), but we never dated because we never had the guts to tell each other how we felt and then I started to date the Engaged Ex. When I came back from college for that first summer, I saw him at the recital and we clicked again. We went out on a few dates, I broke up with the Shy Ginger. But then he stopped calling. Mostly because he got arrested for dealing at the beach. I would call him drunkenly sometimes but nothing ever really came out of that.
Name: Biggest Mistake
Time dated: 9 months
Our story: Sophomore year, I blacked out at a party so my friends carried me up to their room and deposited me on their futon and I still demanded shots of vodka (they gave me water and I knew it was water and yelled at them). The Biggest Mistake was there that night because he was friends with them and laughed at me because I was crazy. I passed out and him and his roommate were like is she dead? I sat up said no and passed right back out. We became facebook friends and started talking. We hung out, but I was too afraid to commit to a relationship and he was getting mad. Finally, I gave in and we started officially dating. Things went well for awhile, but then the honeymoon ended and he was an asshole to me. Started telling me I was too demanding and that I was manipulating. We left for winter break on bad terms, but stayed together because I had plane tickets to go see him (I also cheated on him twice with the same guy over break). I did go see him and everything went back to normal, except I tore my ACL, which would change my life for good (I was a dancer- and would never go back to it). After my accident I was always upset and he was not comforting at all and after my surgery he said that I was too depressing to be around and would leave me in my room alone while he went out and got drunk. He later even told me that he didn't love me anymore. Why did I still stay with a guy that wouldn't even visit me after my surgery you ask? I don't have the answer to that. But we stayed together until summer, when I finally decided to slowly end the relationship. I stopped calling him as much and finally it ended.
Where we are now: He acts as if I don't exist, therefore I do that same. We can pass each other on campus and act like those 9 months of our lives never even happened. (He wasn't even that good of a bang).
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